Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
