when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
