Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
