Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
