How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize