every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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