Texts From Last Night

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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now

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  (321): just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now http://tfl.nu/uvwa
  Replies (4) Good night (636) Bad night (828)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  Emoooo

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  (317): It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups. (1-317): Emoooo http://tfl.nu/8g06
  Replies (10) Good night (842) Bad night (2331)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?

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  (610): Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants? http://tfl.nu/1myu
  Replies (33) Good night (2038) Bad night (4582)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....

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  (513): She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited.... http://tfl.nu/lzs9
  Replies (16) Good night (5124) Bad night (1035)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.

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  (978): I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism. http://tfl.nu/fmul
  Replies (15) Good night (5797) Bad night (1361)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.

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  (503): Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general. http://tfl.nu/8yi1
  Replies (9) Good night (4848) Bad night (1025)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.

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  (631): I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise. http://tfl.nu/lz74
  Replies (9) Good night (3853) Bad night (846)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can't. I will literally throw up my liver

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.

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  (610): I can't. I will literally throw up my liver (484): Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume. http://tfl.nu/eh54
  Replies (2) Good night (1636) Bad night (654)
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  (631): View more from New York

  yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?

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  (631): yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem? http://tfl.nu/eu3b
  Replies (21) Good night (3336) Bad night (1200)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.

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  (563): I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan. http://tfl.nu/gr04
  Replies (10) Good night (2142) Bad night (650)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..

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  (503): I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation.. http://tfl.nu/9q0x
  Replies (18) Good night (1734) Bad night (626)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks

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  (918): All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks http://tfl.nu/j9e3
  Replies (13) Good night (2012) Bad night (497)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...

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  (434): Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave... http://tfl.nu/1k20
  Replies (13) Good night (2382) Bad night (749)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks

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  (253): I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks http://tfl.nu/tvej
  Replies (11) Good night (1056) Bad night (558)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober

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  (757): also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober http://tfl.nu/ijy4
  Replies (1) Good night (782) Bad night (463)

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