Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  if you like me you must not know who I am

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  (248): if you like me you must not know who I am http://tfl.nu/tuge
  Replies (2) Good night (1575) Bad night (841)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it

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  (773): My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it http://tfl.nu/4cmd
  Replies (3) Good night (697) Bad night (907)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.

  (951): View more from California

  That's the thing about women.

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  (707): I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff. (951): That's the thing about women. http://tfl.nu/3r0z
  Replies (6) Good night (782) Bad night (2453)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  again?

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  (612): I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job. (651): again? http://tfl.nu/ai0g
  Replies (11) Good night (1016) Bad night (4862)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here

  (1-208): View more from Idaho

  what the hell does that mean?

  (208): View more from Idaho

  nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages

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  (208): dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here (1-208): what the hell does that mean? (208): nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages http://tfl.nu/of9o
  Replies (26) Good night (2630) Bad night (3989)
• Favorite

  (44): View more from United Kingdom

  Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?

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  (44): Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash? http://tfl.nu/dolq
  Replies (34) Good night (3979) Bad night (1657)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?

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  (407): Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening? http://tfl.nu/psmr
  Replies (4) Good night (1787) Bad night (2971)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm

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  (410): I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm http://tfl.nu/u7vv
  Replies (13) Good night (2830) Bad night (746)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.

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  (812): Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet. http://tfl.nu/ytjh
  Replies (7) Good night (1211) Bad night (1728)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.

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  (248): No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut. http://tfl.nu/0bwj
  Replies (26) Good night (3667) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule

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  (863): I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule http://tfl.nu/m3mw
  Replies (3) Good night (1057) Bad night (536)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.

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  (310): Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it. http://tfl.nu/jpod
  Replies (5) Good night (1184) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go

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  (850): We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go http://tfl.nu/28iq
  Replies (4) Good night (404) Bad night (224)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.

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  (570): They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me. http://tfl.nu/dk1c
  Replies (5) Good night (435) Bad night (354)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"

  (425): View more from Washington

  She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."

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  (425): You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs" (425): She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs." http://tfl.nu/hxs2
  Replies (0) Good night (743) Bad night (162)

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