Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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