Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on