Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(805): View more from California

NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??

(805): View more from California

He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

You should probably go find him.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(805): NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be?? (805): He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is. (814): You should probably go find him. http://tfl.nu/673m

Replies (11) Good night (3109) Bad night (989)
Favorite
(714): View more from California

what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(714): what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date? http://tfl.nu/fkwi

Replies (69) Good night (3996) Bad night (1413)
Favorite
(713): View more from Texas

yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(713): yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome. http://tfl.nu/dlc1

Replies (23) Good night (4839) Bad night (575)
Favorite
(253): View more from Washington

he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(253): he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not. http://tfl.nu/7v4r

Replies (14) Good night (1612) Bad night (3904)
Favorite
(253): View more from Washington

once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(253): once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced. http://tfl.nu/7kbq

Replies (38) Good night (3596) Bad night (2224)
Favorite
(419): View more from Ohio

fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(419): fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back. http://tfl.nu/wq3e

Replies (11) Good night (4687) Bad night (1966)
Favorite
(278): View more from Michigan

Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(278): Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms. http://tfl.nu/bwzb

Replies (2) Good night (1247) Bad night (423)
Favorite
(304): View more from West Virginia

It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(304): It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town. http://tfl.nu/067f

Replies (14) Good night (692) Bad night (953)
Favorite
(585): View more from New York

If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(585): If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang. http://tfl.nu/cb2r

Replies (5) Good night (806) Bad night (405)
Favorite
(503): View more from Oregon

Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(503): Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk http://tfl.nu/l7fc

Replies (9) Good night (714) Bad night (332)
Favorite
(479): View more from Arkansas

He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(479): He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security http://tfl.nu/nae6

Replies (2) Good night (718) Bad night (269)
Favorite
(304): View more from West Virginia

You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(304): You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish. http://tfl.nu/ubba

Replies (12) Good night (1077) Bad night (322)
Favorite
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(412): You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk http://tfl.nu/zmxc

Replies (1) Good night (585) Bad night (279)
Favorite
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(412): In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is. http://tfl.nu/p6qy

Replies (3) Good night (754) Bad night (281)
Favorite
(631): View more from New York

Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(631): Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good http://tfl.nu/dysc

Replies (1) Good night (821) Bad night (228)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: