Texts From Last Night

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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now

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  (502): I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now http://tfl.nu/ys0t
  Replies (10) Good night (2267) Bad night (1004)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone

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  (480): There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone http://tfl.nu/wpdv
  Replies (38) Good night (654) Bad night (1793)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.

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  (801): My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef. http://tfl.nu/9csw
  Replies (31) Good night (624) Bad night (4775)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.

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  (918): the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing. http://tfl.nu/e8cz
  Replies (61) Good night (5758) Bad night (1134)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.

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  (201): It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling. http://tfl.nu/90ol
  Replies (16) Good night (7215) Bad night (909)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success

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  (978): Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success http://tfl.nu/y2pz
  Replies (7) Good night (4094) Bad night (845)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk

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  (612): I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk http://tfl.nu/r6qp
  Replies (8) Good night (4638) Bad night (1197)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"

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  (301): The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football" http://tfl.nu/o0mi
  Replies (19) Good night (5165) Bad night (894)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets

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  (970): I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets http://tfl.nu/8nkk
  Replies (2) Good night (1277) Bad night (645)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..

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  (724): I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star.. http://tfl.nu/hv80
  Replies (9) Good night (2160) Bad night (671)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.

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  (724): I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror. http://tfl.nu/s26b
  Replies (19) Good night (455) Bad night (1301)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.

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  (845): Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent. http://tfl.nu/1ynv
  Replies (10) Good night (840) Bad night (466)
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  (845): View more from New York

  YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE

  (1-914): View more from New York

  YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.

  (845): View more from New York

  I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER

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  (845): YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE (1-914): YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING. (845): I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER http://tfl.nu/t573
  Replies (7) Good night (2000) Bad night (378)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?

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  (570): You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award? http://tfl.nu/wwxx
  Replies (9) Good night (857) Bad night (585)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems

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  (505): Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems http://tfl.nu/nr34
  Replies (3) Good night (306) Bad night (290)

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