You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
