My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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