mondays should just be called national damage control day
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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