so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
as a side note pls kill me
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
