It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
