If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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