i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
