people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
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she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
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