...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
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You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
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Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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