haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
