whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
