I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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