he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
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