Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize