I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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