I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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