bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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