Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
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