Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Randomize
