i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
