I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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