I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
