normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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