I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize