what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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