please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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