Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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