dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
