dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
