Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
