You made me cry and you don't even care
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize