You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
