I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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