you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
