What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
