Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
