I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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