the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
