Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
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you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
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If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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