He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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