Grow some girl-balls and come out already
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
