just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Will exercising make me less horny?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
