Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
