I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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