gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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