do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Every concussion has its silver lining
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
