help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
