weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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