is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
