Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
