Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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