I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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