Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
