i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
