I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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