went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
