I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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