It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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