I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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